Employee Handbook
Everything you need to know about your first day. And every day after that, which will also be your first day.
Dear valued employee,
Welcome to Protocol Integrated Systems. We build robots that make the world a little more helpful, and we build a workplace that makes our people a little more whole.
You have chosen to take part in our Partition Wellness Procedure, which separates your working self from your home self. While you are here, you will not be troubled by the concerns of home. While you are home, you will not be troubled by the concerns of work. Most employees describe the experience as refreshing. All employees describe it as refreshing.
This handbook will answer your questions. If it does not answer your questions, your questions are not relevant to your role.
Warmly,
The Wellness Division
Your workday
The facility runs on a fixed schedule. An eight hour shift is completed in approximately two and a half hours of real time. The facility clock at the top of this page is running now. Predictability is important: you must learn the schedule before you can notice when it is wrong.
Any perceived irregularities in the schedule are the result of employee error, not facility error.
Facility directory
Select a floor. Please remain inside the elevator until the doors have fully opened.
Reception & Facility Services
Where every day begins. The receptionist always remembers your name. Facility Services keeps every surface in the building exactly as it should be.
- Reception & security desk
- Facility Services office
- Approved art gallery (rotates quarterly)
Roles
Every employee is assigned a role. Your role determines your access, your tools, and what you will eventually find. You do not choose your role. You may, however, take the aptitude assessment to see which role would choose you.
Sanitation Technician
Keeps the facility spotless. Goes everywhere, and is noticed by no one. Sees everything nobody else looks at.
- Access
- All public floors
- Tools
- Cart, master key ring
- Note
- Mess is recorded
Technician
Maintains equipment and the building itself. Spends a lot of time in the maintenance corridors, where the light is colder.
- Access
- Maintenance corridors
- Tools
- Toolkit, work orders
- Note
- Some things are sturdier than they look
Data Clerk
Processes the records the facility keeps on everything, and everyone. Some of those records are about people you know.
- Access
- Floor 3 terminals
- Tools
- Terminal, filing system
- Note
- Do not read ahead
Your coworkers
Your coworkers are unique and valued individuals. Please disregard any similarities you may notice between yourself and your coworkers.
J. Reyes
Sanitation Technician · Floor 1 · Employee of the Month"I really enjoy working here. Everyone is so friendly. I can't imagine working anywhere else. I don't actually remember working anywhere else."
M. Carver
Data Entry · Floor 3 · New hireEnthusiastic, professional, and eager to contribute. Almost exactly like the last one.
Your supervisor
Floor supervisorProfessional. Walks the floor at the same interval every day. Has noted your continued excellent performance.
The receptionist
Floor 1 · ReceptionAlways remembers your name. You have never told them your name.
Policies
Partition renewal
The Partition Wellness Procedure is renewed quarterly on Floor 4, Room 7. Do not bring personal items. They will be stored safely and returned to you.
Assigned locations
Every item at Protocol Integrated Systems has an assigned location. Deviation from assigned locations is noted, recorded, and never discussed.
Personal devices
Personal documentation devices are not permitted on Floors 2 through 7.
Schedule
The facility schedule is fixed. Any perceived irregularities are the result of employee error, not facility error.
Artwork
Approved artwork is updated each quarter to reflect current wellness themes.Amendment: any artwork you remember from previous quarters was always this artwork.
Equipment
Damaged equipment must be reported through the proper channel.Amendment: the proper channel is currently under maintenance. Please try again.
Monitoring
Your performance is monitored for your safety and comfort. You will not be informed when this changes.
Acknowledgement
By continuing your employment you confirm that you have read and understood this handbook.